Its really painful. :(

Its hard to tell whether falling inlove is that easy, some say its only sweet when it is fresh but sooner or later you'll suffer there's so much in this two that i really do love, its not just the tandem but the chemistry behind their every actions I know that people like Edward never really exist, well i suppose he can in our dreams, but its not the illusion that made people fall inlove with them the very point is that no matter how different they are to one another still both can't put aside the raging love they felt for each other, in short thats what they called undying love. As I finished reading all the books I really am satisfied at the ending but there's still something in me that tells "how pity i haven't had the same ending with them, cause fairytales is just for childrens who believes in Happy Ending but even how hard I try still happy ending's not destinied in my path."

Everytime my friends asked me about how my lovelife was, i just cant help smiling because of what i'm feeling inside, the pain was unbearable especially when the flash backs of those memories filled my mind all over again. thats the reason why until now i'm still not commited, afraid of being hurt, as others might say(count me in) and also afraid of caughting the wrong one AGAIN.

And now I've realized what i must prioritize the most, and its the love of my mother and sister. I promise to myself that i wont fail them anymore this school year and I will do my best to return all the kindness and love they gave to me, instead of having my own love cause it's not too late i'm still waiting for him and besides he's not married yet.LOL.